Hmmnnn... Kinda Like This Poetry Thing

Seaweed So Small

Out from the horizon, the sun finally appears

Taking away the darkness, taking away the tears

The night was long, hopefully I’ll sleep through the day

The hours will pass quicker, and the day will decay

 

Want to be at the beach, sitting on the sand

Or perhaps in the ocean, far away from land

I need to be grounded, I need to feel small

What happens in life, isn’t always my call

 

Maybe I’ll give my sleep deprivation some help

Have a drink, or two, and dream I’m kelp

Microscopic seaweed, floating in the vast blue

Aimlessly taken, flowing to find truth

 

This world is not my oyster, and I am not a pearl

Suddenly I don’t know what’s around me, my body begins to twirl

Taken into the mouth of a creature, it is so black

Waking up from my fantasy, I didn’t want to come back

2 a.m. a new poem...

 

Though not far, or maybe right here

The same feeling, always seems to appear

Whether I’m lost, or maybe I’m found

I know the highs and lows will eventually come around

 

Looking for stability, God gives me hope

Finding a purpose and reason, a reason to cope

A reason to cope with the pain that I feel inside

A reason to deal with the emptiness I subside

 

A reason to reach higher, higher than I can comprehend

Hoping to bridge a path, a path that is hard to mend

Hoping to abridge a path, one that I have left a stray

Here I am again, on my knees I pray

 

Appears to be a cycle Lord, one I don’t understand

Why do you keep protecting me? I definitely should be banned

Banned from your love, banned from your sacrifice

As much as I know what is right, I continue to entice

 

I entice those around me, leading them into sinful ways

Ready to be renewed, renewed to purify my future days

Though I have struggled, my road has been rough

It is time to focus on you, I have had enough

A Poem From The Past

Taken By the Current

Standing at the shore, I dreamt of one day meeting you

Though, so undeserving, I compare myself to the vast blue

Hoping for a miracle, wishing on a star

Possibly somewhere out there, possibly near, possibly far

 

How I got so lucky to finally see your face

Like the returning waves, once again, saved by His grace

Looking forward to the relationship we will develop, the one we will form

Anticipating being swept, swept far away by the storm

 

We are taken by the current, and begin to drift away

I am losing control, but at last, I’m okay

Taken to the depths, we are falling deep and fast

On my knees I’m praying, that our love will forever last

 

Never wanting to return back to the land

Never wanting to lose touch of your hand

Never looking back at the past I regret

Always looking forward to the future we have set

 

A Little on a Something I Probably Know Nothing About...

A Sleepless Night, That Didn’t Feel So Long…

Sometime, someday, it will happen again. Love will once again wonder my way. It will not pass me by. I will notice. Failed attempts from before, refusals of what I knew was there, and countless times of me questioning “why not?” will come to an end. An altered state of mind allows me to realize my losses. I sink deep into my emotions. I am alive. In the depth of my thoughts, no, the deepness of my heart and soul, I recognize a missing piece. A piece that shouldn’t be considered missing at the age of twenty-two, but its gone and very apparent.

 “Sitting, waiting, wishing” doesn’t seem to be enough right now. Not lonely, but memories of the world being lifted on a pedal stool echo in my mind. Days when I woke-up with energy from the thought of your face, your voice, your touch, and our future. Too young to truly appreciate what was real, too immature to take the right steps, and my biggest regret, too prideful to forgive. At the moment, I would do anything to be your everything. 

 Not the right time, nor the right place. Everything is wrong. How did I get here? One too many opportunities have taken place. My position right now is well deserved. I’m just here. Just being. Just going day-by-day, trying to figure out how to pass time, sleeping through days, and painting through nights. I’ve been up since 3 a.m. last night, “it’s 3 a.m. I must be lonely” lyrics just popped into my head. J I am not lonely though. No, I appreciated the feelings I had last night, but now the same emotions have lingered throughout my day. Time for the staggering feeling of not getting the attention I desire to vanish, please.

 Time to pray and go to bed.

The Next Day...

 Another Chance, Just Maybe…

Here it goes again, back around, “ring around the rosy…” Waiting for us to fall back down… I remind myself to take things slow. No pressure on the situation this time. No forcing circumstances. Just let things happen. I have a good feeling that they will. I have discovered that I do not feel the same way I used to. I do not experience the same emotions from the past. The rush is not really there. I have started to recognize why. This is no longer a new thing, it is not like when you are getting to know someone. We know far too much about each other, and everything in between. Four years back-and-fourth. This is not a challenge, I do not think of him and me like that, though it has seemed difficult. Our situation is comfortable.

We both know we could make each other happy in the long run. Our similarities and compatibility is far beyond most. Even our physical attraction to one another is different from the others. I think it is different. I can think back to the first few months we new each other. We saw nobody else that was “better looking,” we knew we were not the most beautiful people that existed, clearly, but some kind of shield was placed in both of us that wouldn’t let us think otherwise.

I am content right now. Right now I have Faith in Christ, and faith in us. Together the three of us will make the future what it was meant to be. Together. It’s all about timing.