The First Real Post Of Me Today, A Little Darker, A Little More Edge, But Then Some Hope

“Life and death, energy and peace. If I stop today it was still worth it. Even the terrible mistakes that I made and would have unmade if I could. The pains that have burned me and scarred my soul, it was worth it, for having been allowed to walk where I've walked, which was to hell on earth, heaven on earth, back again, into, under, far in between, through it, in it, and above.” -Gia

 Absolute highs and absolute lows, and every step in between. One day I’m up, one day I’m down. Life passes me by too quick, or way too slow. Never satisfied, what will it take? I live a life full of extremes. I live by impulse. Regrets? Maybe a few. A few seems to be growing recently. But few can say they have experienced what I have been through, what I have already done, or the possibilities that I have created for the future.

 At twenty-two, I can honestly say I have lived a life full of spontaneous adventures, interesting people, and emotional experiences that contrast greater than black and white. Barely surviving a car crash with two internal brain bleeds in 2004, or watching UGA beat Florida from the 40 yard line in 2007 (Go Dawgs!) are both unforgettable moments. :) Unforgettable is what I strive to be.

 Loved or hated? Few are indifferent. I think I like it that way. I don’t want to be someone that can just pass by. I want to exist, I want to impact, and most of all I want to BE PRESENT. I want to be noticed. Selfish? Yes. At this point, I know changes need to be made. I am ready to find the strength. Though, I know right from wrong, my decisions are not always guided by the knowledge that I possess.

 I have been challenging each day with one blind leap at a time. It is time for my actions, and most of all, my heart to reflect Christ. When my heart follows Christ, so will my behaviors. I am far away from being Holy, I am far away from being content, and I am far away from being okay. But I have hope, I have faith, and day-by-day I will achieve stability. I pray for more time to change, more time to leave an impression, and most of all more time to learn how to love.